The Almost Two Year Old Rut + How I Got Over It

You might want to trade the coffee for a glass of wine (21+ please) for this one because it is a bit more serious, or more like WAY WAY more serious.

Quick flashback to almost two-years ago. It was August 2017 and I had accomplished one of my biggest goals for the blog. I interviewed my all-time favorite YouTuber, a goal that I didn't think I would achieve so early on in the game. Instead of taking advantage of the momentum, it actually terrified me. I started to get thoughts like, "I'm such an imposter, people will realize that I am not good at interviewing or I am not a good blogger and they will call me out."

All of these ideas where only reality in my mind. It caused me to completely quit blogging, just like that. One day, I was waking up as early as I could, making some coffee and working on my blog until late hours of the night. The next day, I woke up late, didn't open blogger and just... quit. I've never used that word before, I would always say "taking a break" or "figuring things out," sometimes it was even "life is just really busy right now." But in reality, I was bitten by the rut-bug. Pulling myself out took longer than it took to get over-powered by it.

I've been taking it day by day to gain the courage to come back on here again. I thought that by changing the name of the blog, it would rebirth the opportunity of a new beginning. And it worked. I woke up feeling lighter, more excited and feel really good this time around.

It hasn't been easy. There are still a few Koffee with Karinas that I have in "storage" that I would like to release this month. I've had them for around a year now but I would like to release them because the wonderful advice is timeless and I would never want someone to feel like their time is not worthy, their story is not worth listening to and that I just simply don't care. I beat myself up for this every day and I want to share with you the inspiring conversations.

So, how did I get over it? Here's my advice:

Learn to rest not quit: 

If you are feeling low, take a day off. Meditate. Write down all the reasons why you love blogging, clear your mind. Allow yourself to rest, but do NOT quit. You got this! 

Ignore that little voice in your head:

Am I the only one that thinks of the Hilary Duff song? Anyway, don't just ignore the word... challenge it. If I am so bad at blogging, how did I land the interview in the first place? If I am not capable, then why did I pick myself up and fought again? Challenge the rude voice in your head. Shut it up and stick by your feelings. Prove the voice wrong, do it. Whatever IT is... do it. 

Believe in Yourself... always

Believe in yourself and root for yourself like you rooted Beyonce during the Lemonade era. Don't set yourself up for failure. Make yourself promises and keep them. I remember I used to say "okay tomorrow we are blogging" but not having a plan. Blogging? What does that mean? Are we writing tomorrow? Are we uploading the Koffee with Karinas? Give yourself a to-do list, support yourself. 

If need be... get help

There is such a stigma in therapy but let that ish go. Sometimes it takes a professional to help you out, in my case, it did. I had someone to talk things through, someone who supported me, who offered me advice, She really helped me realize that I am not who my negative thoughts say I am. That I have to pick myself up every. single. day. That yes, maybe it is embarrassing that I haven't posted Koffee with Karinas that happened two years ago but let your PRIDE GO and like Becca Kufrin (The Bachelorette, yes THE.) do the DAMN THING. 

I choose to pick myself up every day. I choose to show up for myself. I choose to believe in myself. I choose to do better and be better. I make these choices because I have decided to live as not what I want to do but by what I wish I would've done a year from now. 

Take care of yourself. As a creative, your mind is your most powerful tool, so cherish it. As a creative, without having good mental health, your creative spirit cannot blossom in the same way. 

Sitting here, watching the SAG Awards and blogging was my biggest dream not too long ago. I am so proud to be here sharing my story with you and taking a step each and every day to honor my creative spirit.

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